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The Font-Bot Project

The Font Bot Project

Battling for the Future of Type Supremacy

THIS WEEK’S MATCHUP

Battle Started

SPECS:

P22 Bifur LT

Derby, England

vs

SPECS:

OCR A Std, Lucida Sans Typewriter

Poughkeepsie, New York


  • Damage Taken

    59
  • Damage Taken

    30

89

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42 People getting rowdy down here

  1. Sutures’ head looks like ET made out light-bulbs.

    Are you running away already? You’re like a hamster in a wheel.
    You’ll never get out because your tracks only go sideways.
    That’s what happens when you design a Robot based on a crab!

    What the hell are you holding?

  2. Aren’t you going to fight back?
    OCR and Lucida Sans… Did you make this in MS Word 98?

  3. SUTURES

    Really!? Bifur Bot – you don’t even have a weapon! You have a souvenir bat and a “C” hook.

    That outfit may scare off your girlfriend, but you look like you escaped from Jane Goodall’s Ape Lab; you have flat feet and probably suffer from over pronation.

    Ring the bell in your cage and have someone change your diaper looks like it’s got a load of shit in it.

    You look to be crying already…

  4. SUTURES

    I’ve been waiting to carry a new head for my latest victim, and although your mug has to be the ugliest yet, it’ll do. Now go beg the queen for your life and hope she pardons you before I get Jonny Rotten on her ass!

    • That’s not shit in my diaper, that’s a pair of balls, something your fleeing robot could do with.

      They aren’t tears under my eyes, they’re bags from staying up all night playing dolls with your sis.

      Did you steal your rib cage from a retirement home? They look like hand rails to me!

      Nice disco lights by the way! I may as well start my victory dance now.

      • SUTURES

        That victory dance is you stomping your feet and pounding your chest while you drop another load into your diaper!

        Isn’t it time for tea and lardy cakes?

        • What on Earth makes you think I’d need to [i]stomp[/i] or [i]pound[/i] to [b]crush you[/b]?

          Your arms look like they are made from girders from the game ‘Worms’, and last I checked even a sheep could blow the things up. In fact even a freaking banana could.

          Yeah, I think it’s time for a sit down and a brew. I’ve been put in a pillow fight not a Robot War.

          • SUTURES

            I really think you’d have a tough time making money as a scarecrow.

            know you eat a lot of squab there but we call that pigeon and I think it is affecting your brain. You look like you were pieced together from a straw hut by one of those lost civilizations in the Brazilian Rain forest.

            Don’t be so full of yourself Grape Ape</strong)

  5. You’re right, I would have a tough time making money as a scarecrow because I was built to kick your ass.

    You think I eat squab? The only thing I eat is your sister’s fresh apple pie(or fish and chips)!

    You need to put down your McDonalds toy and pick up a shield, there’s no point in a weapon cause you can’t even bend your arms.

    Speaking of apes, go on Google and search ‘go ape ladder’ – now we all know where you stole your collar bone and shoulders from!

    • SUTURES

      sister jokes are so lame….that is unless your name is Bifur Middleton!

  6. Melanie

    Seriously WTF are you holding Bifur?

    • Last I checked, a mace did more damage than a glow-stick glued to a feather duster. What is it with you, first a pillow fight, now a tickle match. Ooooh I see, next you want a strange competition! That’s one thing you’d win Lightbulb Boy.

      I mean seriously… You question a batton with blades on but not Suture’s piece of plastic stolen from a 1980’s pinball machine.

      Let me just FW Melanie.

      Seriously WTF are you holding Suture?

    • Last I checked, a mace did more damage than a glow-stick glued to a feather duster. What is it with you, first a pillow fight, now a tickle match. Ooooh I see, next you want a staring competition! That’s one thing you’d win Lightbulb Boy.

      I mean seriously… You question a batton with blades on but not Suture’s piece of plastic stolen from a 1980’s pinball machine.

      Let me just FW Melanie.

      Seriously WTF are you holding Suture?

      • SUTURES

        Bifur, the only time you’ve seen a pillow lately is the one you were biting when your friend lazer tagged you with that black bannana torch you’re so proud of.

        Rise of the Apes called and want their stage model back.

        • Rise of the Apes called and want their stage lights back.

          How much did you have to pay your best friend to sew your eyes for you?

          Can I ask why you solder your friends tomatoes to your arms?

          • SUTURES

            you are really making yourself look bad with these weak comments. You are redefining the term BAFOON

          • it was good until boyfriend was changed to best friend
            and balls into tomatoes… =/

          • Yeah you really can’t fault him I guess I did a bad job of censoring that one, my bad :(

  7. Do you work in an airport Suture?
    You look like a landing signalman.

    • SUTURES

      what? Bifur the Baffon-bot I’m about to get Revolutionary war on you and show you why they call this great piece of land America!

  8. JamesVec

    I went through and cleaned up your comments a bit fellas, I hope you like the choices I made LOL!

    • SUTURES

      hahahahaha – LOVE Souvenir Bat

  9. SUTURES

    Bilfur, I know you’re still in diapers, BUT since your Gravatar is G rated, so should your smack talk.

  10. NYB

    Would somebody please inform me why bilfur has a bishop attached to its knee?

  11. SUTURES

    Stylee gravatar NYB

    I found this really cute picture of Bilfur: http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00400/snn0739b682_400816a.jpg

  12. Mandible

    Garbage Can taught me a thing or two, but I have to say this SUTURES dude is pretty badass!

  13. SUTURES

    To Clarify:That is a head and spinal cord in my right hand

  14. NYB

    I see John Wayne Bobbitt has relocated to the UK. I thought they sewed that thing back on.

  15. Oh right… I didn’t realise you guys were still crying about yesterday.

    By any chance were you designed by Syd Mead?

    At first I thought it was just the TRON tyres you claim are a head but I just realised… You’re Johnny 5 Robot from the 80s film Short Circuit!

    • SUTURES

      SUTURES is a little Johnny 5 (Alive!) – credit for the reference Bufert.

      You’re more like a silverback w/ a Kachina Doll head, webbed feet, and a zoo plunger. Besides, that monster terd in your diaper will really slow you down.

      SUTURES is just chillin’ in the breeze looking for ladies and lopping off heads as he cruises the strip.

  16. nyb

    SUTURES is not only a lady killer, but he can smash this kachina style Donkey Kong w/ elephantitis of the nuts

  17. nyb

    UK riots: 16,000 officers policing London’s streets & 1 Bifur Bot

    • NYB

      …BREAKING NEWS UPDATE…

      We are getting identical reports from eye witnesses on the scene.
      “In an attempt to fend off encircling rioters, Bifur Bot was seen ripping off his penis to use as a weapon”

      …BREAKING NEWS UPDATE…

  18. SUTURES

    good stuff on Luke Design:http://www.lukerodgers.com/

    • Thanks. I think you’ve won this one mate!

  19. SUTURES

    Cheers mate! Your bot is pretty badass if I do win, you should submit another bot and battle again. I’ll vote for you for sure. I do like your design work so clearly you know what’s up and I’m a fan.

  20. NYB

    …BREAKING NEWS UPDATE…

    Bifur Bot is alive and in stable condition after rioters beat him unconscious with his own penis before throwing it into the Thames.

    …BREAKING NEWS UPDATE…

  21. Mandible

    “cricket”

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