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The Font-Bot Project

The Font Bot Project

Battling for the Future of Type Supremacy

THIS WEEK’S MATCHUP

Battle Started

SPECS:

Franklin Gothic

vs

SPECS:

Caliban Std, Verve Std, Braggadocio, Adobe Std M, Zebrawood Std, Discoid


  • Damage Taken

    208
  • Damage Taken

    268

476

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92 People getting rowdy down here

  1. JamesVec

    You sir are about to get handled GARBAGE STYLE!

  2. Mandible

    Unlucky for you I’m coming at you like a pack of racoons and we’re in the mood to trash some garbage!

  3. Mandible

    Mandible (right)
    SPECS: (Font Types)
    * Caliban Std
    * Verve Std
    * Braggadocio
    * Adobe Std M
    * Zebrawood Std
    * Discoid

  4. Adam

    East side represent.

    • Mandible

      mandible |ˈmandəbəl|
      noun Anatomy & Zoology

      • either half of the crushing organ in an arthropod’s mouthparts.
      • their function is typically to grasp, crush, or cut the insect’s food, or to defend against predators or rivals.
      • he mandibles are used to clip pieces of vegetation, gather wood fibers, dig nests, or to capture and disassemble prey.

  5. JamesVec

    I don’t want to be considered a typecist but Garbage Can is pure Franklin Gothic

    • Mandible

      I didn’t know they made a font that had solid fill. At least I didn’t fill my “O”‘s and “C”‘s or the space between the type…that is true garbage. I’m a purist and there is NO Photoshopping in Mandible

      • JamesVec

        Don’t be mad you are getting Beasted son… auto correct wanted to changed that to breasted, just thought I would throw that out there.

  6. Mandible

    I bet the tin man could be that bot in a race. It probably sounds like a garbage can when it moves. I have a nackname for your bot – “Klunky”

  7. JamesVec

    garbage can
    –noun
    a container, usually of metal or plastic, for the disposal of waste matter, especially kitchen refuse and Mandibles.

  8. Mandible

    also referred to as “wheelie bins” in come cases…”It is a makeshift solution to the shortage of proper urinals in city centres after the closing time for pubs, when urination sometimes becomes an urgent need (especially after seeing poorly made, clunky font-bots on the web). “

  9. Mandible

    what happens when I cut the cord attached to your left arm? Completely disabled that’s what! Do you see the 2 blood machetes? Who is voting on this site anyway? a bunch of trash-bots

  10. Anthony

    Who is voting here? The purity of just one font on the Garbage side is nice, but the color fill definitely takes away for me. Mandible just looks fresh. And its creator’s trash talk and wit is dominating in the comments.

  11. Mandible

    Thank you # Anthony!
    MANDIBLE is all font all the time!- he does not need Photoshop to beat the racoon piss out of a garbage can!!! Vote Mandible

  12. Mandible

    Garbage Can is more like a “stock-bot” than a true font-bot

  13. JamesVec

    All the trash talk in the world isn’t going to save Mandible from getting GARBAGE CANNED

  14. Mandible

    If I wanted to face off against Oscar the Grouch I would have taken my shit to Sesame Street. I haven’t heard scrap metal talk this much since Short Circuit 2 (that’s right, you don;t even deserve the original)

  15. Melanie

    All I’m saying is if I saw Garbage Can walking down the street I would be like “Ah! Run!”.
    If I saw Mandible walking down the street I’d probably shit my pants and freeze-up due to the overwhelming fear of the approaching horror.
    And Mandible sounds cooler.

    • All I am saying Mel is I thought we were friends

      • Melanie

        I think friends should be honest.

  16. Mandible

    We are best friends- never forget it. All I’m say is if my internet is wireless, my killing machine better be too…so cut the cord on that 50’s robot and use the scrap metal to repair your Buick

  17. He Hates You

    Hey Garbage Can face I found the prototype for your font-bot’s arm: http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/06/pl_prototype_ironhand/ (hahahahaha!)

  18. Mandible

    Mandible LOVES Melanie

    • Melanie

      Mandible LOVES scares Melanie.
      FTFY.

  19. Sis-in-law

    Sick font creatures….but Mandible dominates! Maybe I can use Garbage Can on my kids birthday invitations!

  20. Jankins

    I got ya back Vec!!

  21. filthyfishstix

    James your robot rules but you need to work on your trash talk if your going to be garbage

  22. Joe da Beast

    hold up hold up! I have to admit, James’ bot is well. Vintage! But let me point out the fact that this mandible thing looks absolutely nothing like a “bot”. Kachina doll? yes. Great Northern Buck with nice antlers? Yes. Advocate for a hemorrhoid commercial? yes (cause-what are those things?)

    http://001yourtranslationservice.com/me/Health/pics/h/hemorrhoids-mgtn308l.jpg

    But all encompassing, damage-dealing, overlord-bot, handing out total submission cards like candy corn on Halloween… nope. My vote is definitely with the shit can. … Though maybe you could use those bloody swords to lance your hemorrhoid issue after you get your ass handed to you!

  23. Joe da Beast

    Also… When you’re dead can I have one of your candy cane fingers?

  24. Joe da Beast

    Also, my landscaper buddy called. Said he wants his leaf rakes back when you’re done using them for feet…

  25. Joe da Beast

    When the shitcan is done running you through the paces with his chainsaw and flame thrower, maybe I can tie you up with some leather and sell you as a dream catcher.

  26. Joe da Beast

    I can see you now… You will look pretty good hanging from the rear view mirror on that ’99 dodge neon with a bad paint job and a “MetallicA” sticker plastered across the back window.

  27. Joe da Beast

    You definitely have the shitcan beat in the recycling dept. I can think of all kinds of good uses for you after you lose! This is the start of big things for you my friend… You’re plushy mid section will be a hit with… na, nevermind. Nobody will want that.

  28. Joe da Beast

    My point being… From a practical design standpoint, YOU LOSE. “type purist” and “NO photoshop” sounds great in a comeback, but maybe you SHOULD explore with fill and line weight through different creative tools. I can only hope that would lead you to explore options like not making voters see Mandibles little, yellow, repetitive ovaries there in his (… her I guess) lower half. (I have to agree with my sister Melanie… That part was scary. Nothing more frightening than a crazy robot lady who’s ovulating and owns sharp objects)

  29. Joe da Beast

    Poor design. Shitcan gets the job done, hands down. Mandible is fun to look at -at best- but repetitive and messy looking.

  30. Joe da Beast

    Mandible… I’m a reasonable guy. I found this article for you:

    “There are many options when seeking hemroid treatment, we’ll take a look at the most commonly effective ones here.

    DIETARY CHANGES

    It’s important to include extra fiber in your diet and to drink plenty of water every day. This will prevent constipation. Constipation causes strain on your bowel muscles, which will make hemroids worse.”

    (to read the complete article, click the link below)

    http://www.hemroidtreatmentnow.com/

  31. Joe da Beast

    Now trending on Twitter:

    “Mandible’s LED butt-load to pave way for new energy efficient lighting on future losing robots!”

  32. Joe da Beast

    Maybe when you’re done losing we can tally up your losing score with the ancient adding machine there in your groin region.

  33. Joe da Beast

    What has antlers, glows bright red, and comes out when the weather turns cold???

  34. Joe da Beast

    Nope, not Rudolf… It’s mandible! The antler-toting font kachina, with red LED lights on his head and “leaf-raking” foot action!

  35. Joe da Beast

    OK… I’m kidding, honestly, those sabers are pretty cool…

    Unless you’re supposed to be a robot.

  36. Joe da Beast

    I would say your swords afford you a good shot at a career in Sea Piracy after your upcoming fail, but I think pirates probably need to be able to swim.

    Hard to swim with all those lower case R’s for digits…

    Ok, that was funny… Pirates say “R”

    That might work out for you after all…

  37. Jamesvec

    Brutal, but I am going to allow all of these. Lol.

  38. Mandible

    Everyone knows “Joe Da Beast” is jamesvec’s mom’s AOL screen name so sorry you had to lose sleep yapping for your son’s overhyped recycle bin on hydrolic steroids. Mandible is not finished! Clearly I have a mouth full of joe’s teeth to kick in later today…Mandible has to go kill your family and then back for the trash…it’s pickup day!

    • Joe da Beast

      Sorry Mandible, just woke up. Your mom stopped by last night after I logged off. (you may want to schedule her an appt at the doctors office, she’s going to be sore for a while).

  39. Mandible

    Mandible’s red and white death canisters contain killing coctails that weren’t even comprehended when Garbage Can’s metal was stamped by the army in WWI.

    • Joe da Beast

      lmao! Red and white death canisters… “OK”, that doesn’t excuse the fact that your coctails of death are still hanging out of your ass… (again, why?)

  40. Mandible

    Joe da beast – welcome to the 21st century! Robots dont look like your grandfather’s toys anymore. They are fluid dynamic machines that are more adept to clearing the earth forest of entire family trees in one hemroid drop of killing puss than all the Garbage Can third world armies you can assemble. Blow!

  41. Mandible

    Garbage Can sure does know how to shade a background. Too bad it’s not actually part of the font. Just sayin’

    • Joe da Beast

      “just sayin’ ” that you need to up your game.

      sorry if the truth hurts there cupcake. I’m not trying to offend really, just trying to help. I’m really hoping that you’re font bot gets feeling better with his “canister of deathroids”. I honestly wouldn’t wish those painful looking things on my worst enemy. Let alone innocent “fluid dynamic machines that are more adept to clearing the earth forest of entire family trees” (what?)

  42. I may have colored them in but at least I used a typeface that I didn’t grab off Free fonts in the decorative section, let’s make a font out of bones….that’s useful

  43. Joe da Beast

    good point James. I applaud your ‘out of the box’ thinking. Not only have you come prepared with properly equipped weapons for a robot throwdown, you have done it in a vintage style that highlights the fact that you put thought and effort into where things should go on a font bot.

    Lets be honest Mandible, there comes a time when you have to know when to quit. When you were designing this, did nothing in your head say “Is the big globular ass-looking thing, complete with bloody sacks and ‘mama chicken eggs’ inside, a little on the ridiculous side?”

    Answer… “nope, looks good! Put some antlers and hemorrhoids on his head and we’re ready to go!”

    (PS> James honey, dinner is at 5:30 tonight. You know your father doesn’t like it when you’re late so please hurry home. (mommy kisses xoxo))

  44. Mandible

    It’s understandable that small minds would not grasp the complexity of a beast such as Mandible. You can build all the robots you want with old radios and car parts you want, but anything walking around with weapons that need hoses and chinsy cords attached will not last long.

    Imagine the scenario: Garbage Can walks down the street in today’s world (everyone starts laughing at the site of it because it looks like the son of a Go Bot raped by Inspector Gadget) then Mandible flies out of nowhere and drops a hemorrhoid bomb smoke screen. The smoke clears and Garbage Can is all shredded to pieces and Vikki Lawson from Small Wonder is crying over his useless hunk of soup cans.

    • Joe da Beast

      That is super cute. Did you type that all by yourself? Good imagination.

  45. Mandible

    Mandible does not have bones you back alley dumpster. Those are titanium and aircraft grade aluminum composite nano joints. God, do you and Joe Da Beast grease each others hair, roll each others tight dark jeans, wash each others wife beaters and play in a ska cover band in Williamsburgh?

    • Joe da Beast

      … you’ve seen our show?

    • Melanie

      Never let it be said my brother does not know how to get the stains out of a wife-beater.

  46. Mandible

    you sing that song “Pillow biting ass pirate” right? You guys def rock!

  47. Mandible

    I heard you keaster stashed an entire melon at your show last week. Hope you’re all healed up by now…

  48. Joe da Beast

    I have to apologize Mandible. Maybe I’ve jumped to hasty conclusions here. I did not realize that our native American robot looking friend there had nano joints. Now that you put it that way maybe Shit Can will go easy on you. There’s a soft spot in my heart for people with bone related diseases. My grandma has weak joints too (one was even replaced with titanium, just like our elderly indian robot friend).

    I will talk with the ref and see if he will bar any moves that might compromise the integrity of your bone and joint structure. I am also looking into the benefits of Centrum Silver (with calcium) for elderly female robots.

    I’ll get back to you. {:-(

  49. Joe da Beast

    Yeah, the melon was brutal. It looked even worse… Wait a sec, strangely it looked almost exactly like that enormous deformed ass thingy on your font bot!

    • Melanie

      If you know anything, Joe, you know ass melons.

  50. Mharris

    I voted for garbage can because I have a feeling the creator of the “other” one is fat IRL.

  51. Mandible

    I like the spiked shoulder pads…were they stolen from Dee Snyder’s wardrobe closet during the Stay Hungry Tour in 84? real classy touch for something that looks like it should be attached to Joe Da Beasts key ring hanging from the zipper on his purple jansport.

    • NYB

      I still can’t tell if Garbage Can is holding a five-eyed vagina or meatball hoagie in its right hand.

      • Melanie

        I am concerned for your experience with “vaginas” and “hoagies”.

  52. GammaRAY

    Joe da Beast – pump your breaks kid. You sound like a jealous lover. Let Mandible trash that can like Estevez in Men at Work and cry later when that muffler looking robot gets squashed!

    • Melanie

      HEY HEY HEY NOW! My brother may be a lot of things, but none of them involve love.

  53. Mandible

    < href="http://www.clients.percepted.com/eck/eck.jpg&quot;
    fair enough Melanie.
    I’m going to cool down on the trash talk – nothing personal meant in all my comments- I enjoyed the formidable trash talking opponent – Joe Da Beast

  54. I like the one with the C in it. Its because I’m THAT vain.

    • Mandible

      looks like Jonathon Yule invented that font-bot arm with the “C” so you should be so vain and retract your vote for Mandible- the TRUE ORIGINAL

  55. Mandible

    Mandible is taking out the trash! looks like this garbage can is Staten Island bound…

  56. Mandible

    I found these images after google searching “font bot” and they look eerily similar to Garbage Can – so much so that I’m calling that moss ridden piece of metal a knock-off: SEE FOR YOURSELF
    http://invdr.com/2006/12/font-bots/

  57. Mandible

    I voted for myself 60+ time

  58. Joe da Beast

    Sorry Mandible, I had to take a break from this whole thing. I looked at your bot too much. I’ve been laughing for the last few days straight.

  59. Mandible

    Joe da BeastAsperger’s can do that to you.

    • NYB

      Your Asperger’s diagnosis is way off. Down Syndrome is more realistic. Joe Da Breast has been bitter ever since losing out to Corky when he auditioned for Life Goes On.

      • Mandible

        hahah! That would explain the “episode” he had the other night when he left 14 consecutive posts with no replies. he came onto the scene like Sloth in Goonies – “Hey You Guys!”

  60. Mandible

    Joe Da Breast

  61. Mandible

    joe da breastI IncredibLe! You must have been a ferral child! Re: your grandma’s hip replacement. Her new titanium hip is 10’s of thousands of times stronger than her natural hip and had she been Mandible, that bag of bones would have been spending her time killing instead of rehabing that hip.

    • NYB

      HAHAHA! It’s more like “Bag of Boners” considering the amount of pipe laid in that old hag. It’s no wonder she needed the hip replacement.

  62. NYB

    *** BREAKING NEWS ***
    Garbage Can and its colostomy bag have been SHIT-CANNED!
    (I was wondering what the “C” stood for)

    • Mandible

      That shit-bot is looking for a game of laser tag, not a death battle with Mandible. What’s up with those feet? He may just be a garden trinket you stick in the dirt next to the the classic fat lady bending over with her ass hanging out. Honestly though, a pack of wild gnomes may feed on shit-bot over night

      • NYB

        I thought Robo-Shit got those sandals from watching too much Kung-Fu

  63. Mandible

    Joe Da Breast must be busy snacking on his own back fat i think NYB and Jo Da Breast should face off. I already know NYB is down…down for life!

  64. steaks

    So I just want to know, why does mandible have reindeer ears and 6 rakes attached to his torso as well as his groin which I’m assuming are studded with what appears to be xmas or police lights. Nice pirate swords though. He looks like an angry lawn keeper to me.

  65. Mandible

    Because he can

  66. Pookie(nyb)

    shit can looks more like a futuristic back alley jonnie i wonder if he has a pair of tits tatoed on his back,definetly seems like a douche bloat in the abdominal region or perhaps the symptoms of an oncoming quife perhaps melanie can help address that issue. Although i do think shit can has a possible patent to pursue in the sex toy department with that ass plunging dildo or anal vaccum he seems to be holding in his left arm. Joe da beast,i’m sure your familiar to the taste of a pillow sheet gripped to your teeth when your boyfiend tells you to bite the pillow. and a pet gerbal trapped in ur ass cage so perhaps you can be the guinea pig for those test results. I m votin mandible unless that shit can quifes sars.

  67. Trashman

    oblivion

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