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The Font-Bot Project

The Font Bot Project

Battling for the Future of Type Supremacy

THIS WEEK’S MATCHUP

Battle Started

SPECS:

Corbel, Futura, Lithos, Minion, Myriad, Neo Sans, Trajan, Vag rounded

vs

SPECS:

HeavyLOUDedge, HeavyLOUDedgeline, Industria LT Std Solid


  • Damage Taken

    232
  • Damage Taken

    223

455

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51 People getting rowdy down here

  1. ABOUT THE MATCHUP
    This weeks matchup features the first visitor submitted bots.
    First up fighting out of LIC NY is Bault. He appears to be the greek god of Font-Bots. If I were his opponent I would want to stay away from his fistin piston. Bault was built with Corbel, Futura, Lithos, Minion, Myriad, Neo Sans, Trajan, Vag rounded
    His opponent The Gooch, fighting out of Washington D.C. was built with HeavyLOUDedge, HeavyLOUDedgeline, Industria LT Std Solid. This 8bit monster is going to try to crush you with his flail and if you manage to get away from that you are going to get the rocket launcher arm, just nasty

  2. The Gooch

    Who the F%@# wears birkenstocks to a fight?

  3. Melanie

    All I’m sayin’ is it looks like someone owned Bault with the MS Paint spray paint tool already.

  4. The Gooches legs look like a drunk chick velociraptoring in her high heels on a friday night after drinks, I am not saying I am not into that, I call it easy prey

  5. Stepfather(nyb)

    Socrates, meet my Fu*#!ng daisy chain! Bault looks like a hot dog in sandles…

  6. The Gooch

    Bault is a thief!
    That is my fistin piston I broke off in your arse earlier today

  7. eck*

    Bault’s fist and dagger is pretty sick and certainly packing formidable PUNCH — The Gooch’s cannon and spiked ball look like a handful of HADES best brew…hmmmm it’s a tough decision….

  8. Bault

    I wear birkenstocks to a fight!! When it’s 97 degrees.
    Gooch looks like an overheating microwave. I think i’ll re-heat my pasta from last night.

    • The Gooch

      SpaghettiOs isn’t pasta

  9. Stepfather(nyb)

    Mandles

  10. The Gooch

    Hey Bault – Fred Flinstone just called and he said he wants his feet back

  11. Stepfather(nyb)

    Bault looks like an angry tree hugger that lost his dog on the Lower East Side. Dirty ass hippie looks like he’s got a swarm of gnats flying around him…

    • The Gooch

      I think he has a brain freeze from that grape popsicle

  12. Bault

    Gooch’s looks like a 1982 VCR… is that the time blinking?! oh wait, that the DOS promt…
    You better type command RUN.

    • The Gooch

      Whatever. You’re just hatin’ on VHS because growing up you got stuck with Betamax and all of the 8 movies released for it.
      The only thing Gooch is running from is that scary ass uni-brow on your forehead.

      PS- The caveman from Geico called and he wants his beard back

      PSS- Your kid called and he wants his drawing from art class you stole off of the refrigerator back

  13. Hannah

    I love this! But I beg you…PLEASE put an apostrophe in “This Week’s Matchup.” The horror of it missing mars the rest of your absolutely fantastic site.

    • JamesVec

      Fixed just for you hannah.

      • Hannah

        Thanks!! Now the whole site is nothing short of perfect.

  14. Stepfather(nyb)

    Bault looks so old shakespeare played him in the park. Really though, who is voting for this munchi-chi on the sponge paint background?

    • Bault

      Weak! You can do better than that…

      • Stepfather(nyb)

        p p p p
        p p p p
        p p
        p p
        p p
        p p p
        p
        Bault

        • Bault

          Damn, I hope your Font-Bot is better than your trash talking!

  15. The Gooch

    Bault – The Renaissance Faire got moved to next weekend

    • Bault

      Why don’t you get one of your buddies like the energizer bunny or cymbal clapping monkey to wind you back up… you’re fading.

    • The Gooch

      The only thing fading is your lead. You might need to send another email blast to your friends.

      • Stepfather(nyb)

        hahahahahahahahhahahaha – Nice one Gooch!

  16. The Gooch

    Bault looks like he’s trapped in a snow globe

    • Bault

      look, i already sliced your arm off and left with you a waffle-maker.

      • The Gooch

        You don’t like waffles?

        Anyways – you are a liar! If you recall my earlier post I broke my fistin pistin off in your arse. However, I want to apologize for calling you a thief. You could not have stolen my weapon since I just received confirmation that my fistin pistin is in fact still lodged in your arse.

        Which finally explains that uncomfortable/surprised/tense look on your face

        • The Gooch

          Sliced my arm off! How? Your weapons consist of a giant frosted doughnut and a purple banana

          A better question is – what happened to your arms?

  17. You guys both used M’s in your hair that is so precious. Everyone has made fun of Baults sandles but no on said shit about the Gooches deer hooves.

    I would like to get a side by side of bault and his creator, I am starting to see some striking similarities. Matt is that what you would look like in the matrix?

    • Bault

      yah, but M is actually my first initial…. i put some thought into Bault, unlike Tooch. I mean Gooch… who I think first appeared in Short Circuit?!

      • The Gooch

        Now that’s a sophisticated concept. Thanks for clearing that up Matt. Anyone who reads that post will be dumber thanks to you.

        • The Gooch

          Apparently Matt was too busy trying to fit the square peg into the round hole, and never had the opportunity to watch one of the arguably best sitcoms ever – Diff’rent Strokes

          If he did, he would know that “The Gooch” was the school bully who was always picking on Arnold.

          The “K-12″ underneath my name should hopefully make sense to you now

          • Bault

            Wha-cha Talkin’ Bout Willis!… Yah, I’m sure everyone picked up on that one.

    • The Gooch

      That’s probably because they’re not deer hooves. They are handmade Italian leather loafers inspired by Matt’s cameltoe.

      • Bault

        While you’re fixating on my cameltoe… I’ll continue the beat down.

  18. Stepfather(nyb)

    If Nathan’s had a happy meal, Bault would be the toy inside. a Franfurter with mandles on!

  19. Bault

    Phew! looks like the Dooch is done eating his cookies…

    • The Gooch

      Hey Boner Stabone – My name is Gooch, not Dooch.
      I think your uni-brow is impairing your vision.
      Or maybe it’s a lack of oxygen to the brain from your man-boobs that appear to be strangling you.

      Death By Man-Boobs!!! Hahahaha!!!

    • The Gooch

      Sorry I can’t accommodate a different ip address for every person who has stopped by. At least they are REAL votes and not the result of desperate email blasts.

      Oh yeah – Can you tell me again why bault’s taint is located on his neck?

      • Bault

        Desperate Douche?… you were getting spanked by 35 votes… embarrassing, huh? I thought were gong to blow a fuse.

        I guess shoving your laptop into peoples faces as the enter your house, saying “please vote… oh wait i’ve got to delete the cookie, ’cause i’m not supposed to be doing this!! hold a second… ok, you can vote now” is not nearly as desperate as asking a friend to vote via email.

        How many more visitors coming over? I think I’ll have a milk and cookie party at my place!

        • The Gooch

          Simmer down Bault. It sounds like your tape player just ate one of your coveted Dave Matthews bootlegs, or maybe you broke a strap on one of your dirty Birks’. Getting “spanked” by 35 votes in a project intended for fun that I spent a whole 2 hours creating is not embarrassing for me, but clearly it would be for you, and I feel sorry for you. That, I do find embarrassing.

          Anyways, just one thing I wanted to ask you –
          HEY DUMBASS! PLEASE EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SHOVING A LAPTOP IN SOMEBODY’S FACE AND SHOVING AN EMAIL IN SOMEBODYS FACE? A VOTE IS A VOTE DOUCHEBAG. AND BESIDES, YOU ARE DISCRIMINATING AGAINST PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAVE/USE A COMPUTER ON A DAILY BASIS.

          I live with 7 other highly sociable people. I interact face to face with a lot of people on a daily basis. Sorry if you can’t comprehend that. So enjoy your milk and cookie party. It sounds like you’re going to be the only one there.

        • Stepfather(nyb)

          looks like someone shoved the Bault Dildo into an aging vagina and tore the whole vaginal cavity out which is now Bault’s face.

  20. dally(ny)

    Pa Pa patchouli. What a fuckin font faux pas. Now I know what a Bob Ross painting would look like if he painted his cock wearing birkenstocks. Nice fuckin perm you got goin looks like a young corey savage, or maybee its loose pubes from getting “sleeping masked”(putting your balls on someones eyelids) by your boyfriend last night. Nice fuckin backround reminds me of the momo my grandmother used to wear. The doctors think that colr pattern is what killed her. Either way Bault gets tie dyed by the gooch’s morningstar.

  21. The Gooch

    Bault must of got hurt trying to high-five himself at his milk and cookie party.

  22. Bault Lover

    The Gooch has cankles

    • The Gooch

      Actually, they’re MANKLES bitch. This is a war, not a beauty contest. Apparently that’s not obvious considering Bault is dressed up like he works at Medievil Times. You should probably be more concerned about your lover’s MANDALS.

  23. Alice

    Bault looks like he’d be really good in bed.

    • The Gooch

      He used to be a fluffer in the gay porn industry.

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